This Miles' incident took place on a rural Minnesota highway near a stereotypical farm field. There were straight lines of vegetation as far as the eye could see, dusty dirt roads that entertained only the occasional car and farm houses no closer than a mile from one another. This was where the blow out occurred.
We were only five minutes away from my best friend's home. Five minutes I tell you! When my cop daughter yelled, "Mom! Miles is eating his poop!"
In all my years of dreaming up the perfect little family with the perfect little kids, one of my children eating their poop never entered my mind. Ever. I looked into the rear view mirror only to see my one year old son with his hand in his mouth and a look of disgust on his face. Well, at least he didn't like it.
"No, no, no!" I yelled.
This reaction startled him and he instantly withdrew his hand. It was indeed covered in poo. I turned off the highway onto the first dirt road I could find and flew out my door to rescue my Miles from himself. There he sat in a seat full of waste. There was shit everywhere. I slowly unbuckled him and pulled him from the wreckage. I just held him straight out in front of me and stared. I didn't know where to begin.
While I pondered my next step, my daughter commentated, "What are we going to do, Mom? Do you have another diaper? Do you have any clean clothes for him? Gross, Miles. Why did he do that?"
"I don't know, Bug. I just need an minute to think." Actually, I needed a bath tub and a washing machine but we can't have everything can we?
I decided to open up the back door and look for my diaper bag. This was not an easy task while holding a dirty little man. And luckily, I did have a diaper but I was low on wipes. I truly don't know if anyone could have had the right amount of wipes to clean up this disaster but I was happy to have a few.
I peeled off the soiled clothes and diaper then started wiping. Miles could walk at this point in his life which made me happy that I didn't have to set him down on the rocky dirt road. I wiped and wiped the child for ten minutes. All the while, my Nola kept asking me if I was done yet.
"No, Bug, not yet...not now...a few more minutes."
Once he was decent, I searched for a new outfit. I was prepared with extra clothing but I was not prepared for my son's car seat to be used as a toilet. I was out of wipes and at a loss as I stared at the nasty seat. What to do, what to do? I had to turn to my creative side. Everyone has a set of innate skills and one of mine is problem solving. I love puzzles, sudoku, design, I love creating; so, I had to look at my problem creatively.
I searched my car and found a few small paper bags. I flattened the bags and covered the seat with them. Then I placed a blanket over the bags and set my freshly wiped son back in the seat. It still smelled like shit, but would work for the five miles we needed to drive.
When I finished, I turned around and saw the mess of dirty wipes and crap filled clothes I had piled up on the side of the road. I did not have a plan for them. I had already used the paper bags I found in the car and I could not find a single piece of trash to help me contain the litter.
After much contemplation, I made the rash decision to leave my garbage behind. Yes, I left twenty wipes, a pair of shorts and a child's t-shirt on the side of a country road. It was not an easy choice for me to make, my daughter does not get her rule following characteristic from the wind, but I could not find another option. My creativity was shot.
As we drove away from the incident, my panicked daughter could not stop talking about Miles' clothes on the side of the road, "how are we going to get them back? What if the cows eat them? Mom, what are we going to do?"
At that point, I was spent. So I answered her with the last bit of cleverness I could conjure up, "I'll call the farmer later, honey, and he'll mail them to us."
She looked at me with much sincerity, "yeah, that's a good idea, Mom."
We were only five minutes away from my best friend's home. Five minutes I tell you! When my cop daughter yelled, "Mom! Miles is eating his poop!"
In all my years of dreaming up the perfect little family with the perfect little kids, one of my children eating their poop never entered my mind. Ever. I looked into the rear view mirror only to see my one year old son with his hand in his mouth and a look of disgust on his face. Well, at least he didn't like it.
"No, no, no!" I yelled.
This reaction startled him and he instantly withdrew his hand. It was indeed covered in poo. I turned off the highway onto the first dirt road I could find and flew out my door to rescue my Miles from himself. There he sat in a seat full of waste. There was shit everywhere. I slowly unbuckled him and pulled him from the wreckage. I just held him straight out in front of me and stared. I didn't know where to begin.
While I pondered my next step, my daughter commentated, "What are we going to do, Mom? Do you have another diaper? Do you have any clean clothes for him? Gross, Miles. Why did he do that?"
"I don't know, Bug. I just need an minute to think." Actually, I needed a bath tub and a washing machine but we can't have everything can we?
I decided to open up the back door and look for my diaper bag. This was not an easy task while holding a dirty little man. And luckily, I did have a diaper but I was low on wipes. I truly don't know if anyone could have had the right amount of wipes to clean up this disaster but I was happy to have a few.
I peeled off the soiled clothes and diaper then started wiping. Miles could walk at this point in his life which made me happy that I didn't have to set him down on the rocky dirt road. I wiped and wiped the child for ten minutes. All the while, my Nola kept asking me if I was done yet.
"No, Bug, not yet...not now...a few more minutes."
Once he was decent, I searched for a new outfit. I was prepared with extra clothing but I was not prepared for my son's car seat to be used as a toilet. I was out of wipes and at a loss as I stared at the nasty seat. What to do, what to do? I had to turn to my creative side. Everyone has a set of innate skills and one of mine is problem solving. I love puzzles, sudoku, design, I love creating; so, I had to look at my problem creatively.
I searched my car and found a few small paper bags. I flattened the bags and covered the seat with them. Then I placed a blanket over the bags and set my freshly wiped son back in the seat. It still smelled like shit, but would work for the five miles we needed to drive.
When I finished, I turned around and saw the mess of dirty wipes and crap filled clothes I had piled up on the side of the road. I did not have a plan for them. I had already used the paper bags I found in the car and I could not find a single piece of trash to help me contain the litter.
After much contemplation, I made the rash decision to leave my garbage behind. Yes, I left twenty wipes, a pair of shorts and a child's t-shirt on the side of a country road. It was not an easy choice for me to make, my daughter does not get her rule following characteristic from the wind, but I could not find another option. My creativity was shot.
As we drove away from the incident, my panicked daughter could not stop talking about Miles' clothes on the side of the road, "how are we going to get them back? What if the cows eat them? Mom, what are we going to do?"
At that point, I was spent. So I answered her with the last bit of cleverness I could conjure up, "I'll call the farmer later, honey, and he'll mail them to us."
She looked at me with much sincerity, "yeah, that's a good idea, Mom."
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