I used to get an annual migraine headache which would start by affecting my sight. First, things would begin to disappear. For instance, if I looked into a mirror my chin might be missing. Then things would progress to a full on aura where I could make out about fifty percent of what was in front of me. And lastly, the headache would hit and wipe me out for a day or two. When this occurred once a year I could handle it, but now, with age, they tend to hit me every few months. Yay for me!
One day, as I bathed my little man, parts of his face started to disappear. Great, I thought, here we go. Now, because I am familiar with the exhaustion that comes with a migraine, I tend to stress out as it brews. Yet, because I know how little stress helps a situation, I do my best to remain calm.
"Hey Bud, I need to wash your hair quickly and get you out of the tub now," I mustered up slowly and in a controlled manner.
"I don't want my hair washed!" he answered spastically.
My vision was getting worse by the second so I grabbed a cup, dumped some water over his head and started massaging his hair with shampoo. You can imagine how well this went over. Tears started streaming down his face and he was yelling something about his eyes but I was a woman with a mission and the shampoo was tear-free.
In seconds, I carried a clean, dry, screaming kid to his bedroom. There he protested every article of clothing that I pulled out for him; his pants had a hole, his socks were the wrong kind, not that t-shirt. You're probably thinking that his mood had something to do with the water in his eyes, but the truth is, Miles is a difficult kid to dress. He is so picky and irritating sometimes that the process can take ten to fifteen long-ass minutes. But not today, today mom was growing a migraine headache and had the patience of an overdue pregnant woman.
"Fine," I barked. "Then don't wear any clothes." And I ran to the medicine cabinet to search for a bottle of Excedrin.
I have a tough time taking pills. I get all psyched out and tend to choke as they go down. This can be a problem. So, in order to combat the issue, I often chew some food, bread works well, then I place the pill inside the clump, like you would for a dog, and swallow. I also meditate so even if the clump gets stuck, my calm state of mind will allow the clump room to slide down within seconds.
While I searched the cupboard, I tried to calm myself down but the vision loss and screaming kid were making it an impossible task. Eventually, I found a bottle that resembled Excedrin and ran downstairs to ask my mother for help. Oh yeah, you should probably know that my parents took my kids and me in after my divorce. They have been very supportive and have helped me in so many ways that I could go on and on, but I won't, because this story is about a migraine disaster not how thankful I am to my parents. But I am, thankful...anyway, my mom advised me to only take one since Excedrin is highly caffeinated and I am a light weight in the pill department.
So, I opened the bottle on my way upstairs and pulled out one pill; one large, horse-like pill. With my son still crying and my throat tight, I gobbled up some bread, got a glass of water and swallowed the mass. Well, half swallowed. The damn thing got caught midway down my throat. I could breath so it wasn't going to kill me but it hurt like hell.
At this time, my daughter chimed in and yelled, "I can't take all the cry-ness. Miles needs to stop crying."
This pushed me over the edge. Two crying kids were not helping this throat clogged mom. I ran downstairs to my mom's office, opened the door and hollered, "I'm choking but I can breath. I need a minute to get this pill down but can't do it with two sobbing kids." Then I shut the door and ran into the bathroom.
My mom followed me shouting, "don't you close that door, that is how people die you know, they are embarrassed that they are choking then run and hide!"
"I know this mom, but I can breath I just need a moment to relax and get this clump moving," I answered as I shut the door again. Then I put my head under the faucet, got some water in my mouth and swallowed. The water hit the clump and flew out of my mouth covering most of the mirror and half of my face.
To add insult to injury, while I grabbed my shirt to wipe off my face, my dad opened the door to offer his help. Unfortunately for him, all he got was a clear shot of my naked breasts. Hey, I was in my pajamas without a bra and he just walked into a closed bathroom door. It was his gamble and he lost.
I eventually worked the clump down my throat then sheepishly exited the bathroom. I knew what I had to do and that was to apologize for my hyperactive reaction that did anything but help the situation. What can I say, choking makes me nervous, I'm not that weird, right?
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